But You Must Go On
by nitrogentulips
Summary: Nick gets a bad bout of the flu and tries to go to school as normal anyway, ultimately leading to a life-altering accident. Niff. Deaf!Nick.
1. Chapter 1

It was far too early Monday morning to be awake. Nick was in his car, the seat leaned back as far as it would go, trying to get some sleep before lecture that morning. He'd been woken up around four by the worst flu he'd ever had and couldn't get back to sleep, and he was miserable.

He felt awful. His head pounded with every beat of his heart, which was racing along at a thousand beats a minute. The whole right side of his head wanted him dead, the lymph node massive and sore, ear throbbing, that side of his throat raw. His muscles ached like he's run a marathon. He leaned back farther in the seat, wishing for sleep.

His phone lit up with a text from his boyfriend, Jeff.

J: [Good morning]

Nick smiled and texted back.

N: [Good morning. How are you?]

J: [Need more sleep. You?]

N: [Same. Feeling a bit under the weather]

J: [Aw, that's no fun. At least you only have half a day of classes, then you can go home and take a nap]

N: [At least]

J: [Good luck, I love you]

N: [Love you]

And with that, it was time to head into lecture. Nick checked that he had everything he needed, grabbed his bag, and went inside. His usual seat was empty, thank goodness, and he dropped into it, feeling worse than ever.

"You look awful, Nick," Blaine, his partner, said. "You'd better not get me sick."

Nick grinned. "I won't, promise."

"You don't think you should see a doctor or something? Get some medicine?"

His stomach dropped, but he kept the smile firmly in place. "Nah, I'm good. It's just a 24-hour thing anyway."

As if he'd ever set foot in an office like that.

Blaine shrugged. "Whatever, man. Don't get your plague on me, I can't afford to see a doctor anyway."

Throughout the lecture, Nick was hardly paying attention, too distracted by his mental manta of "don't puke don't puke don't puke don't puke". No one seemed to notice. Safe for now.

Nick had gotten sick Saturday night, and it didn't seem to be letting up anytime soon. He pulled on his second hoodie in his car, turned the heat all the way up, and tried to get his foggy brain together to drive across campus to his next class. When he pulled in, he had to lean his seat back again, lightheaded.

His phone buzzed with another text from Jeff.

J: [One more class, you got this!]

Nick smiled to himself. He got his bag, wrapped a scarf around his neck, and followed the stream of students into the lab. The same scenario repeated itself, his partner - Kurt this time - mentioning the fact that he looked like death, Nick almost passing out, and trying not to puke most of the class. He had to leave his scarf and long cardigan outside the room, since he was in a chemistry lab and that was hardly safe, so he shivered and put his head down, falling asleep.

Kurt woke him up when class was over, nothing but sympathy on his face.

"There was nothing you don't already know in the lecture, and you looked like you needed the sleep. Sorry to wake you up,"

Back in his car, Nick's phone buzzed.

J: [Want me to come over? We can study for the quiz tomorrow]

N: [Thanks, but I think I'm going to take a nap]

J: [Okay. Let me know if you need anything]

N: [I will, thanks. Love you]

J: [Love you too. Sleep well]

He sat in the car, leaned back again, for far too long, mentally preparing to drive again, home this time. It was a lot farther. He thought about calling Jeff, then decided against it. Jeff would take one look at him and drag him to the hospital.

Sitting up, he mustered every bit of strength and willpower, and managed to make it home safely. He grabbed his heated blanket and a fresh box of tissues, threw out the ones stuffed in his pockets, and turned up the heat in the apartment, then got into bed.

Later that day, Jeff let himself into Nick's apartment, slipping his key back into his backpack. All the lights were off.

"Nick?" he called.

No answer.

Jeff poked his head into Nick's bedroom. He was asleep, his face flushed, blankets pulled up to his nose. Balled-up tissues filled the trash can and spilled out, and covered his bed. Jeff shook his shoulder.

"Nick?"

He didn't stir. When he shook him harder, he groaned, his throat full of phlegm.

"Hey, babe. You don't look so good,"

"Don't feel good,"

Jeff laid the back of his hand on Nick's forehead. "You could fry bacon on your forehead, that's not healthy."

"Cold,"

"Get out of those blankets, you're burning up," Jeff tried to pull the blankets off, but Nick clung to them and groaned, and even though Nick was weak, Jeff couldn't bring himself to rob Nick of that simple comfort.

"Come on, Nick, sit up. Cough a couple times. Have you eaten anything today?"

"Not hungry,"

"Come on, up," Jeff wrapped an arm around the back of his neck and sat him up. His head fell back.

"That's it, Nicky,"

Jeff moved the blanket down, tucking it around Nick's waist. His clothes and sheets were soaked through with sweat, his hair matted and damp, cheeks bright red.

"Aw, bud. Let's get you changed,"

Nick groaned.

"Change into something dry, I'll make you something to eat,"

Nick sighed heavily and started to stand. When he was on his feet, he swayed once, twice, then fell forward into Jeff's arms. Jeff lowered him back to the bed.

"Oh, Nick, you're a tragedy,"

"Dizzy,"

Jeff grabbed a clean set of pajamas and helped Nick change quickly. When he was in dry clothes, Jeff squeezed his shoulder. "Let's get you to the couch, yeah?"

Nick stood again, leaning heavily on Jeff. Together, they made it to the couch, and Jeff pulled a thick blanket over Nick's shivering form, tucking it around his shoulders.

"I'm going to get you something to eat. Do you have a thermometer?"

"In the bathroom,"

"Do you feel better or worse than when you went to class?"

Nick pulled the blanket tighter around himself. "The same." They both knew it was a lie, but Jeff squeezed his shoulder anyway and left to find a thermometer.

When he came back, thermometer in hand, Nick had the blanket over his head. Jeff patted his side. "Let me see that face, I want your temperature."

Nick groaned and moved the blanket. Jeff turned Nick's head so he could reach his ear, Nick only protesting a little, and put in the thermometer.

"103.6. Not great, Nicky. You sure you don't feel worse?"

"Feel worse," Nick pulled the blanket back over his head.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Only if you don't make me go to the doctor,"

Jeff hesitated. With a fever that high . . . "Okay. I won't make you go today, but I'll check again tomorrow morning, and we can stay home unless your fever gets above 105. Deal?"

Nick swallowed, considering what he had to lose. "Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

Nick woke up, aching and feeling worse than ever, in Jeff's arms. He reached for a tissue, his movement causing Jeff to stir.

"You okay?" Jeff murmured.

Nick hummed and wiped at his nose, balling the tissue up and throwing it in the general direction of the overflowing trash can, then scooted a little closer to Jeff and closed his eyes again, Jeff's arms tightening around him.

He woke up again a few hours later, sheets soaked through again, shivering in Jeff's arms.

Jeff shifted, tucking his chin to Nick's shoulder. "You're really overheated again, time for your temperature." he slid out of the bed, leaving Nick alone.

Nick groaned and got up, his pajamas sticking to every damp inch of him. He needed a shower, but he didn't know if he could stay standing that long.

Jeff was back, a gentle smile on. "Hey, sit down, you're swaying a little. You make me nervous like that."

Nick sighed and sat back down, his head falling into his hands.

"Give me your ear,"

He shifted to allow Jeff access, holding onto his free wrist.

"104.6. That's ER, Nicky,"

At that he did react. "No, you said 105. I'm fine, Jeff. I'm not going."

"It's close enough, still dangerous. And technically, if we're rounding - "

"No. We are not rounding, and I am not going. I'll - I'd rather die,"

Jeff frowned and dropped his hand, grabbing Nick's. "Hey, hey. Okay, we won't go. Promise. Not until you get to 105. I really think you should stay home today, though. Can you do that? For me?"

Nick looked down. "I should - I gotta go. I have ASL today, can't miss that, you know. I'll get slaughtered."

Jeff squeezed his hand. "Nicky, you and I both know you can miss a day of ASL, you're the best student in the class. I'll tell you everything you miss, you won't get behind."

"And Anatomy, and Biochem, I can't miss it. I have to go. I have to,"

Jeff sighed, recognizing he wasn't going to win this. "Okay, go to class, but come straight back and rest, no homework or study group or anything like that."

Now it was Nick's turn to sigh, in relief this time. "Thanks."

Jeff grinned and kissed his forehead. "I gotta go to class. Text me though, okay?"

"Okay,"

Nick heard the door slam and flopped back in bed, mentally preparing to get up and go to class. Maybe he should stay home today.

It was just after nine, and he had lecture at ten. He'd better hurry. He showered, having to sit down so he didn't pass out, then barely managed to get out alive, he was so lightheaded and nauseous.

He threw on some jeans and a sweater with a hoodie over top, bringing another for when he inevitably froze to death in the lecture hall. He had a granola bar, half a bottle of cold medicine, and four Ibuprofen for breakfast, then headed down to the parking garage, trying to fight off the cloudiness on his way down.

He just had to drive to school. It wasn't that big a deal, right? He'd done it a million times, and he'd do it a million more before graduation. Not that big a deal.

But fumbling with his keys walking to his car, he wasn't so sure.

He turned the heat up when he got in, shivering again. Keeping careful focus on the road in front of him, trying to gather his foggy head, he pulled onto the road, then the freeway, then into the parking lot.

His first class was ASL, he could afford to sleep through it. After that, he spent the hour and a half between then and Anatomy lab asleep in his car, managed to stay awake enough for lab, then let his mind go on autopilot taking notes in Biochem. By the time he was done for the day, it was almost four and he was exhausted and ready for a nap with Jeff.

He walked out to the parking lot and slumped into his car, his resting heart rate three times its normal speed, his lymph node half again as big as it was the night before. He just had to get home, then he could sleep.

Jeff: [Lecture over yet? Text me when you're home]

Nick: [Heading out now. See you soon]

His head wasn't hurting as bad, though, and the sun wasn't as bright, so it wasn't as hard on his eyes, so that was nice. On the freeway, he settled into a comfortable view. The sun wasn't in his eyes, the heater was on, he wasn't shivering for once.

He caught himself once. Snapped awake, the realization he'd been asleep dumping terrified adrenaline into his blood.

Then his eyes starting closing again. He fought it as hard as he could. Just had to make it home. Then he could sleep.

Sleep.

Jeff's phone rang, Nick. Nick didn't usually call, something special must be going on. He smiled at his boyfriend's face in his icon before answering. "Hello?"

"Is this a Jeffrey Sterling?"

Jeff's stomach dropped. That was definitely not Nick.

"Yes?"

"Hi, Jeffrey, my name is Thomas, I'm a nurse at Saint Agnes Hospital. Nicholas has been involved in an accident, please get here as soon as you can with proof of identity. There will be a staff member waiting at the main doors on the east side,"

"Okay. I'll - I'll be there as soon as possible,"

The whole drive to the hospital, he just felt sick. He could have forced him to stay home, insisted he not go to class, but he let him go. Jeff let him drive, thirty minutes each way, with a temperature of what might as well have been 105 degrees. What kind of boyfriend was he?

The promised staff member, a male nurse, waited for him at the doors, confirmed his identity, then smiled, face impossibly gentle. "I'm Thomas, we spoke on the phone."

Jeff swallowed back a sudden wave of tears. "Can I see him?"

Thomas nodded and lead him inside.


	3. Chapter 3

The peaceful feeling brought on by Thomas's presence lasted about three steps in the door when Thomas cleared his throat.

"Jeffrey, you're Nicholas's emergency contact - "

"It's Jeff," he corrected quietly. "And he goes by Nick."

Thomas nodded. "You're his emergency contact and you have the relation of boyfriend, is that correct?"

Jeff nodded. "Yes. Can I see him? Please?"

He nodded and slowed his pace. "Absolutely you can see him, you do need to understand something first: he's just been brought into the Emergency Department, and he's pretty beat up. He - "

"What exactly happened?" Jeff interrupted. "You didn't say on the phone. Some kind of accident? Is he okay?"

"He was in a car accident, yes, the police and the emergency services aren't sure what caused it. He was brought into the Emergency Department about ten minutes ago, they said he was awake on and off in the ambulance and kept saying your name, but they couldn't understand anything else."

"Car accident? Is the other driver okay? What happened?"

"There wasn't actually another driver involved, the police say he swerved and hit a barrier, then rolled."

Jeff's mind went blank. "Is it bad?"

Thomas pursed his lips. "They're still evaluating his condition, they don't know how lasting most of the injuries will be."

All Jeff could do was nod.

"We're almost to him. Like I said, he's still being evaluated, so I can only have you see him for a minute, but I'll make sure to keep you updated on everything that happens,"

They were to a set of side doors now, and Jeff could see the business, the constant rush and go. He swallowed hard.

"Ready?" Thomas pushed through and led him to a section with the curtains pulled back and a group of staff surrounding a bed. One of the nurses moved out of the way and he caught sight of Nick, just a brief flash, but Thomas kept walking and as Jeff followed, Nick came back into view.

The first thing he noticed was the blood. Some crusted, some still flowing, from both ears, his nose, and in the corners of his mouth.

Thomas stopped at Nick's head, leaving Jeff at his shoulder.

Jeff wanted to hold his hand so badly, but it was tucked under a blanket at his waist and he didn't dare move it.

Thomas saw him looking and reached around, sliding Nick's left hand out and into Jeff's reach. Jeff gave him a quick, tight smile, hiding a wince at the IV in the back of Nick's hand and the monitor clipped to his finger.

Books and movies always said people looked like they were sleeping. Nick definitely didn't look like he was sleeping. There was far too much noise, too much light, too much chaos, too much blood, for him to be sleeping. This was wrong.

Now that he was in the surrounding circle, Jeff could see everything. An oxygen mask, fogging with every labored breath, covered the swelling and dark bruising under Nick's eyes and over the right side of his jaw. His nose was twisted to one side in a way that was very much wrong. His eyes were closed, the lids of the right eye stretched tightly, pushed open just a bit.

There were pools of blood under his head, still wet. His leg was not the right angle under his blanket. His face was pale, just a shade too far off natural. Jeff didn't want to look, but this was Nick. He had to know.

Jeff took a shaking breath and pressed on, scanning the IVs taped into both arms and the hand he was holding, filling him with medication, blood, and what might have been saline, based on the label. Nick would know.

There were a handful of electrodes taped to his chest, wires leading off and tangling with tubes. Jeff could see the edges of a bruise across his chest that must have been from the seatbelt.

Looking at it all, the blood, the bruises, the monitors, the complete and utter wrongness of it all, he felt sick.

Just as quickly as he'd focused in on Nick, he snapped back to reality and the chaos around him. The nurses were rushing between supplies and Nick and the doctor calling everything, and Jeff felt a strangling need to get out of the way, to never come back, but an equally strong need to stay with Nick, to hold him, to keep him safe and comfortable and mercifully asleep while the horror carried on around him.

"Excuse me, sir, are you the contact? Jeffery Sterling?" a man in a police uniform had two white plastic bags labeled "personal belongings".

Jeff nodded. "That I am."

The officer gave him the bags, nodded, and left. Jeff opened the smaller bag first, finding Nick's phone - which had survived with only a small crack in the screen protector - a couple dollars in change he'd had in his pockets, his phone charger, his lucky pitch pipe, and his wallet, everything spattered with blood.

Jeff opened Nick's wallet, slid out his driver's license, and took an unsteady breath, fighting back a sudden wave of tears. They had taken a selfie on their first date, and Nick had printed it out and kept it in his wallet behind his license for the five years they'd been together. Now there were fat drops of blood covering most, if not all, of the picture.

Something so small threatened to break him. He took another deep breath and slipped the wallet back into the bag, moving to the other one.

Hefting it, the bag felt like it was full of clothes. He opened it, setting the other one at his feet. There were, in fact, clothes. And there was blood. Oh, there was a lot of blood. His stomach flipped. He swallowed hard and set that one down, too.

A nurse pushed between Jeff and Thomas, Thomas moving farther back. Jeff took a step closer to Nick's feet, bumping the doctor, who had a stethoscope to Nick's chest.

"Decreased breath sounds on the right side, I need a portable chest X-ray,"

"Stay where you were, Jeff," Thomas said, leaning over Nick to be heard.

The nurse at Nick's head moved, and Jeff stepped back toward Thomas. "What's wrong with his eye?"

Thomas frowned. "Not sure yet, they're ordering a CT. There must be some pressure behind it that's pushing his eye out, that's why it looks so weird."

Jeff jumped when Thomas took his elbow. "X-ray, we step out."

Jeff nodded and followed him to a nurse's station. They were quiet while they waited, Jeff staring at the floor, mind blank.

"That lung's collapsed, I need a thoracostomy kit," the doctor was saying when they headed back over.

Thomas touched his arm again. "Jeff, we should go."

Something inside Jeff twisted painfully. "No, I - I want to stay with him."

Thomas frowned again, but didn't object.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello kiddies, hope you're enjoying the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it! I intended for this one and the last one to be a double update but I made the fatal mistake of not checking my word count and getting this one's back up took a bit longer than anticipated. ****My Christmas break just got over, and after spending it not sleeping and writing all night, that's not going well, but I bet you can't guess what I'm going to do tonight? NOT SLEEP AND WRITE ALL NIGHT! **

**I should probably shut up and let y'all read, but I'm not done talking so sit down and shut up while I talk about the people I love. *beams* Hello CalliexDamien4evr and welcome to my little flock, we have lots of fun and lots of whump in this family, thanks as always to robbiesmithj (whose actual username with periods it won't let me write because it thinks I'm compromising his security) my dear friend and editor/beta/ER reference material/moral support as I scream at my WIP at four in the morning, love you the most dude, and to ItWasntMee for being fabulously supportive and positive and writing wonderful works of art. Fine I'm done, I just really like talking to you guys! On with the story!**

* * *

Jeff didn't know what a thoracostomy was, but it looked like they were prepping Nick for surgery. They pulled the curtains around, took the blanket away so he was in nothing but a thin gown that had been moved and untied and adjusted so much it was only covering from just above his belly button to midway down his thighs, and draped him in a blue sheet, an opening cut over the right side of his chest and his left hip.

Overhead lights were turned on and moved and the openings were sterilized, and when they pinned Nick's arm over his head Jeff thought they were going to make him let go of the hand he had, but they let him stay.

Jeff kept his gaze carefully averted, turning most of his body toward Thomas while they were working. They were doing something to his chest with a tube and a scalpel, and to his hip with an ultrasound and a very long needle and he definitely did not want to know. Swallowing hard, he ignored the sounds, choosing to focus on Nick's hand and Thomas's reassuring look instead.

"If he has any sort of consciousness, he's probably going to yell," Thomas whispered, glancing over Nick. "This is a rough procedure."

Jeff swallowed again, getting ready. He still wasn't ready when the sound came, but it was less of a yell. More like a moan, with more pain and urgency and panic behind it.

He held his breath and squeezed Nick's hand, trying to comfort whatever presence was there.

At the next cry, twisting his chest in knots, something came over Jeff and he took a step toward Nick's head, stroking through his hair. One of the nurses looked up in what might have been alarm, but let him be.

Closer to his other side now, Jeff had to try harder not to see what they were doing. After wrestling mentally, he closed his eyes and focused fully on Nick's hand and his hair, trying to wish both of them somewhere else.

He had a moment of peace running his fingers through Nick's hair, until it caught on something.

There was blood in his hair. Jeff felt like he was going to throw up again.

Stomach churning, eyes squeezed shut, he managed to keep himself together until Thomas tapped his shoulder again.

"He's done. Chest tube's in, the lung looks okay, and they gave him some medicine for his hip,"

Jeff cracked his eyes open. "Hip?"

Thomas nodded. "Some fractures there, they look pretty minor though. He'll be okay."

They took away the drapes and the lights, and one of the nurses was patting Nick's hand, telling him what a good job he'd done.

The doctor looked up. "Hydromorphone, 1.2 mg, IV push, please."

The nurse let go of Nick's hand and gave something in the IV in his right arm. "Hydromorphone's in."

The doctor nodded.

Nick's eyes cracked open, his hand curling tightly around Jeff's. His whole abdomen convulsed, chin tucking hard against the heavy plastic collar bracing his neck, and the doctor's head snapped up. "Bag, bag, bag."

Someone dove for a plastic accordion bag on the wall. The nurse had just enough time to pull the oxygen mask off his mouth and nose before he rolled halfway to one side and vomited blood all over her shoes.

She smiled tightly, patted his hand again, and left to change.

The doctor gave Nick a careful look to make sure he wasn't going to puke again, then moved to palpating his abdomen. He did an odd, worried frown. "Bring that transducer back over here, the abdomen is rigid."

One of the nurses moved it back and he took it, eyes on the monitor.

"Kid's got a belly full of blood. Page OR again,"

The nurse nodded and took the pager off her belt.

Gentle again, Thomas took Jeff's elbow again. "Let's go, Jeff."

He didn't have the energy to fight this time. Thomas sat him down in the waiting room Nick would have gone through, close enough he could almost see him if he tried.

Digging through one of the bags, Jeff took out Nick's phone and scrolled through their texts to pass time, wishing he'd better known how to help him. It wasn't often either of them were sick, so this had come up without much warning, and they were both notoriously stubborn, which always became clear when one of them needed help with something they could hypothetically handle alone.

Making himself sick again, he closed the app and opened photos. He'd seen a quote somewhere about watching what someone took pictures of to see what they feared losing most. After showing it to Nick, he'd realized how many pictures of Jeff and selfies of them together Nick took alongside his usual mass of selfies and screenshots.

In the first one Jeff opened, they were snuggled together in a booth at Lima Bean. Jeff had a chocolate croissant in one hand and was sipping a mug of coffee, looking at Nick with a smile. Nick was winking, half of an entire cinnamon bun crammed in his mouth.

Jeff smiled and swiped to the next one.

They were walking along a beach, the sun bright and the tide lapping at their feet. Their fingers were interlaced, hands swinging between them. Jeff was giving the camera a middle finger, rolling his eyes, and Nick was laughing.

The next one was just Jeff, buried under a pile of blankets in bed. The morning light streamed in through their blinds, striping his face with rays of sunlight and illuminating his messy hair sticking up at every angle.

He was about to swipe again when his phone rang. He had a moment of confusion, his phone was in his hand, but no, he was holding Nick's phone.

He just wanted Nick.

He finally came to his senses and slid his phone out of his pocket, it was Nick's dad.

Jeff really didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"Hello?"

"The hospital just called me. Nick was in a car accident? What happened?"

Jeff definitely didn't want to explain over the phone. "I think it would be easier if you came to the hospital."

"Are you with him?"

"Yes, we're at Saint Agnes. Are you coming?"

"Yeah. I'll be there soon,"

Jeff stalled, fidgeting with Nick's wallet while he waited. When Remi came into the waiting room, Jeff was quick to sit him down and explain everything. The sickness, driving, getting the call, seeing him, everything.

They waited together in restless silence for any news.


	5. Chapter 5

**Woot woot double update, you guys did the reviewing and the enjoying and so here I am. Leave suggestions in the reviews, pretty please? Enjoy!**

Jeff had stopped checking his watch ages ago when Thomas came over, addressing Remi. "Hi, Mr. Duval?"

Remi nodded.

"I'm Thomas, we spoke on the phone. Have you been back to see him yet?"

Remi shook his head, looking distraught. "No, no, I - can I see him?"

"Of course, right this way,"

Remi inclined his head to the bay, indicating for Jeff to follow. Jeff was grateful, he'd been holding his breath in anxiety, wanting desperately to see Nick again but not knowing if Remi wanted to go alone.

Together, they returned to the bay. The curtains were still open, and Nick looked more peaceful now. He had a blanket spread over him, tucked around his shoulders. The chest tube snaked from the bed down to a clear plastic box, though the box was empty, which Jeff figured was a good sign.

There was a mound around his leg under the blanket, and there were no doctors around, so Jeff felt safe pulling the edge back to see. There were ice packs piled around his knee, which was swollen and bruised under a brace.

Thomas leaned over. "Dislocated knee, they put it back in and braced it. He should be walking on it before too long, I'd give it until tomorrow then they'll have him up and building strength."

Jeff shot a questioning glance at Thomas, nodding to the covering over Nick's eye, the one that was pushing earlier.

"The pressure got dangerous, they didn't want him to lose sight in that eye. I'll spare you the details, but they made the opening for the eye bigger and it's protruding, so they cover it to prevent accidental injury,"

Jeff frowned and nodded.

They settled down around Nick, Jeff holding his hand and Remi sitting nearby, but not touching him. He looked nauseous and in desperate need of comfort, but Jeff didn't know what to say and was afraid to make it worse. That's how they were sitting when Thomas came back fifteen minutes later.

"The OR finally opened up to take him for the bleeding, the pre-op team is on their way down now. You can stay with him until they actually take him into surgery,"

Jeff nodded. Remi didn't seem capable of moving.

It was only about two minutes before the team arrived and started preparing Nick to move, detaching monitors and moving all the IV bags to one pole, pulling the railings up, then splitting around the bed. Jeff followed, Remi close behind, when they pushed the whole bed, IVs in tow, to an elevator.

When the elevator arrived at the floor they needed, the team pushed Nick through to a large, empty room that looked like the bay in the ER, but silent and still.

Jeff took his usual position by Nick's shoulder, taking his hand again. Remi still hesitated, standing by his feet and avoiding looking anywhere there were injuries, though most of them were covered by the gown.

The anesthesiologist was over before long. "Are you Jeff?" he nodded. "I'm Marlow, I'll be the anesthesiologist for the procedure today. I have some questions about our friend Nicholas here before they take him in,"

Jeff wasn't going to say anything, but Remi spoke up. "He goes by Nick."

Marlow nodded. "Does Nick take any medications, Jeff?"

Jeff noticed she directed the question to him, rather than Remi. It might have been because he was the contact and they had to, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that Remi was looking awfully pale and shaky, while Jeff seemed to stay relatively collected.

"No,"

"Does he have any allergies?"

Jeff shook his head. "No."

"What can you tell me about his medical history?"

Jeff frowned. "Well, he was sick with probably the flu, I knew since yesterday but I think he must have been sick before then. His fever was really high, 104.6, I remember because we had made a deal about going to the ER if it got to 105. So I think that's the reason for the accident, he wasn't fully functioning. I should have made him stay home, but . . . " Jeff paused, clearing his throat. "He's all in all pretty healthy, so him being that sick was a surprise to both of us, I think. Overall, I know he has a lot of stress, we're students, after all, and he does have bouts with depression. But I can't remember the last time he's been significantly sick or injured. Um, I'm not entirely sure what you wanted from that, but there you go."

Marlow smiled and nodded, making notes on a chart. "That was perfect, thank you. Do you know if he's had any issues with medications like this working, maybe getting and staying numb at the dentist, or waking up during other procedures, or IV pain medication or sedatives just not working as well as they should?"

Jeff frowned harder. "I can't think of anything like that, no. I remember once he mentioned he wasn't all the way numb for a filling or something like that and it was uncomfortable, but I'm pretty sure that was the dentist's fault, not his."

Marlow nodded, writing on her chart again. "Thank you, Jeff." she stood up to leave. "I don't anticipate any problems with the procedure today, it's going to be completely laparoscopic and I'll take good care of him. Thank you for your information."

She shook Jeff's and Remi's hands and left.

Remi found a chair for himself and one for Jeff, and they stayed in their own respective bubbles.

They'd pulled Nick's arm out of the gown so the fabric wasn't in the way of the chest tube, and Jeff laid his head on the bare skin of Nick's shoulder, sighing softly.

"Love you, Nick. Thomas said this surgery's pretty easy, maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. You're going to get some scans done after you're out, no MRI though, lucky for you. Those things are scary, the claustrophobia and all. He said just some x-rays and a CT, and then they'll probably take your chest tube out. That'll be nice, not having this in your way all the time, they had to move the gown. Your shoulder looks cold,"

Jeff squeezed his hand.

"What did you think of the anesthesiologist? She seems pretty nice, don't you think? They said you'll probably have a couple of surgeries today, get them all over with as soon as we can, and I hope she'll be with you for all of them. That would make me feel better, knowing she's in there with you, keeping you comfy when I can't,"

Jeff might have fallen asleep on Nick's shoulder, because the next thing he remembered was someone shaking his shoulder and a team - including Marlow - around Nick's bed, ready to move him. He sat up, embarrassed, and pulled his chair out of the way.

"Wanna give him one more squeeze before we get him a really bomb nap?" Marlow said, holding the IV poles.

Jeff smiled and wanted to cry at her kindness. He took Nick's hand again and gave his lips a quick peck, squeezed his hand tightly, and stepped away. He mouthed a quick "thank you" to Marlow as they passed by, and she grinned over her shoulder.

One of the nurses led them to a quiet waiting room, where they settled into the chairs to bide their time once again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Look at me, rattling out updates! Review, I am a hungry author in need of validation!**

* * *

Jeff was getting restless when Remi stood up. "I can't sit like this, I'm getting a coffee. You want one?"

Jeff nodded, surprised but grateful. "Sure, thanks."

Time seemed stretched out and inconsistent in the hospital, Jeff was starting to notice, and nothing felt quite right. It was a painfully long time before Remi was back with the coffees, which didn't feel normal. He felt like he was losing touch with reality.

But he took a deep breath and drank his stale coffee and counted ceiling tiles and tried to be patient.

He was just about crazy, getting ready to get up and buy a book from the gift shop when Marlow came back.

"Hi, you guys. The surgeon had to start on another case, but I figured you would appreciate a familiar face. Nick's out of surgery now, everything went really well, they're going to take him up to Radiology for some imaging, then move him to a room. His nurse until shift change will keep you guys updated and move you with him,"

Remi smiled at her, Jeff nodded, then they were alone again.

Jeff's watch said it was an hour later when the nurse came to get them, though he was certain he could have gotten a full night of sleep in the time it took.

"Hi, I'm Dillon, Nick's nurse. He's been moved to a room now, you guys can come up and see him while we wait on the results,"

He led them to an elevator and up a few floors, then to Nick's room. Almost in autopilot now, they assumed their positions at his shoulder and knee, and Dillon dismissed himself.

Jeff grabbed Nick's hand. "One down, only a couple more to go, right?" he smiled to himself.

The smile fell when he saw the results of the surgery. Nick's eye was sewn shut, and the bruises underneath looked worse now. He saw stitches in his hair at his temples and felt like throwing up, and he was sure there were more in his abdomen under the gown but he couldn't bring himself to look. He took a deep breath and squeezed Nick's hand again.

Feeling more at peace now that he could sit with him, Jeff felt himself drifting in and out of sleep as the evening wore on. He was woken up around seven when a nurse came in. He talked with her for a few minutes, giving the summary of Nick's case he was quickly developing at her prompting. When she finally left, Jeff fell back to sleep almost immediately, leaning on Nick's bed.

He woke up again to Nick stirring, and he was wide awake in an instant. Jeff squeezed his hand. Nick turned his head to see him - Jeff was sitting on the side with his closed eye - and smiled, blinking slowly.

"I love you," Jeff's eyes watered. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Nick just smiled wider and hummed. Jeff rubbed his arm. "Go back to sleep. It'll all be over soon."

Nick closed his eyes. Jeff smiled and rested his head on the railing of his bed, falling asleep again. When he woke up to a nurse in the room, Nick looked half-awake.

The nurse was trying to talk to him, but Nick wasn't awake enough to answer. When she saw Jeff awake, she directed her questions to him. He gave her the spiel and answered her questions as best he could, looking to Nick when he squeezed his hand.

"Hurts," he slurred. "Jeff. Hurts."

He couldn't stop the tears that time He swiped at his eyes, smiled, and squeezed back. "Good thing we've got a lovely nurse here, then, right?" he turned to her. "Guess that answers your

question."

She smiled and adjusted his IVs. "The results are back from the scans earlier, the surgeon should be coming in here soon to talk to you about those. For now, let's get Nick here out of pain and you guys some sleep."

Jeff smiled and nodded as she left. Remi was still out cold at the foot of the bed. Nick's eye was still partially open, but the tension started releasing from his muscles and he drifted back to sleep.

Jeff couldn't go back to sleep, so he waited for the surgeon, who knocked about forty five minutes later. This seemed important, so Jeff woke Remi up when she came in.

"Hi, Jeff? Mr. Duval? I'm Dr. Frederick, you can call me Emilia, I'm the orthopedic surgeon. I have the results of the imaging taken earlier,"

Remi smiled. "Please, call me Remi."

She nodded and set herself up at the computer, pulling up the images. "Nick has some fractures in his skull around his ear on the right side and a few in his jaw that shouldn't need any intervention, though we'll keep an eye on them." she swiped to the next image, an x-ray of his pelvis. "You can see here that he has several fractures in his hip, they're going to need to be pinned back together for them to heal. I have one procedure to perform before then, but I have a team that will take him down to pre-op when that's finished."

Jeff nodded. "Do you know if Marlow will be the anesthesiologist?"

Emilia smiled. "Yes, she will be. Did you meet her?"

"Yeah, she was with Nick for the last surgery he had, this afternoon,"

Her pager beeped. She shook Jeff's and Remi's hands, smiled at Nick, and left the door cracked behind her.

A pair of chattering nurses passed by the door, laughing awfully loud for ten at night on a trauma floor in a hospital. Jeff frowned, glancing to Nick to make sure he didn't wake up.

"Sorry, that's a little loud, I'll get it," he said to Remi, who didn't seem to mind, and Nick, who was asleep and not paying attention. He untangled Nick's fingers from his and pushed off the bed, rolling to the door and shutting it, then rolling back to Nick.

Another pre-op team, another holding area, another round of questioning, another round of waiting and waiting and waiting later, Nick was out of the second surgery and back in his room, but they took him back to the pre-op room again almost immediately and Jeff couldn't stay awake to remember why.

By this time it was past four in the morning, but no one ever seemed to sleep in the hospital. A woman whose name Jeff forgot the moment it came out of her mouth was explaining that she was the audiologist and she had some news. He waved her on, still mostly asleep and just wishing she would leave.

"Despite our best efforts, the hearing damage Nick suffered is total and permanent."

Jeff's head snapped up. He was certainly awake now. "Excuse me?"

She frowned. "We repaired everything we could, but it was irreversible. I'm sorry, Jeff."

Jeff thought back to everything the doctors had said. They couldn't understand what he was saying in the ambulance. His ears were bleeding. He didn't answer when Jeff talked to him when he woke up. He didn't answer when the nurse asked him questions. His voice sounded different, less enunciated, quieter. He wasn't bothered by people knocking or the loud nurses outside his room.

Nick was deaf.

Well, this was certainly going to change things.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ayeee I'm back. I know that was an odd gap after updating like three times in two days, but end of term happened and yeah. It's over now though so yay fresh start. I sort of just wrote this throughout the week, instead of sitting down and whacking it out like i normally do, so that was different. I started incorporating little Deaf culture things that seem obvious to me as an ASL student, but if you have any questions shoot me a PM or a review and I'll answer to the best of my ability. Anywhooo, I love you all and you're wonderful and please review and follow and if you have any little requests please let me know! On with the story!**

It was just before seven the morning after Nick's surgeries. He'd gotten out of the last one at about four thirty and they'd taken the chest tube out at five, and he was just starting to wake up. Jeff had his hand, as always, and Remi had left about ten minutes ago to stretch his legs.

Jeff thought about texting Remi, but he didn't want to let go of Nick's hand, and maybe it was selfish, but he wanted Nick's first really conscious moments to himself. He squeezed Nick's hand and resumed scrolling through Instagram.

When he finally did wake up, it wasn't like on TV, with a weak cough and a smile, or a sudden jolt and ripping IVs out. His eye just slipped open, unfocused and clouded over with medication and spilling tears. He was confused and scared. Jeff felt him move and looked up, putting his phone away.

"Jeff," he made a hum low in his throat, tears still racing down his cheeks. His voice got louder, trying to hear himself. "Jeff? Where are we?"

Jeff squeezed his hand before setting it on his knee to sign. "Relax, breathe. We're in the hospital, you were in a car accident."

Nick froze, his face scrunching up in awful fear, still speaking aloud. "You're signing - Jeff I can't hear." his voice rose in panic. "I can't hear. I - I - Jeff, I can't -" the tears turned to sobs.

"Nick," he signed, using his sign name - the letter N used in place of flat hands in the sign for happy - rather than just tapping his hand or waving. "The accident damaged your auditory nerve, but you're okay, we're okay, this is what ASL is for. It's all going to work out."

He frowned hard, tears still rolling down his face but no fresh ones forming, and signed instead of speaking. "Can they fix it?"

Jeff squeezed his hand and let go to sign. "They tried, they really did. But they couldn't."

Nick's mouth twisted down again. He pulled in a heavy, trembling breath, making him wince and press a hand to his side. He took another deep breath, then let go and adjusted his gaze back to Jeff's upper chest and neck. "I want to go home."

Jeff nodded. "I know, honey. I know you don't like doctors or anything like this, but I've met a bunch here, they're all really nice. And I'll stay here the whole time until you're better."

The door opened and closed, Jeff looked up to see a nurse in the doorway. Nick followed his gaze when he diverted his attention and the sight of the nurse was enough to make him cry again.

Jeff took both of his hands while the nurse glanced over the whiteboard with his name - which Jeff had made sure said Nick, because he was tired of correcting people but Nick hated being called Nicholas - his medications, pain chart, phone numbers, and a note of his deafness - with a little d, which he was sure Nick would be miffed about when he noticed - among other things.

Nick was shifting, pulling into himself, making that little rumble in his throat that Jeff wasn't quite sure he knew he was doing. The nurse turned back with a smile, and Jeff pulled every bit of deaf courtesy out of the archives of his brain in preparation.

The nurse flipped to a blank page in a notebook, scribbling, then passed it to Nick. Jeff leaned in to read.

_Hi, Nick, my name is Tucker. I'm the day nurse, can you tell me about your condition?_

Jeff cleared his throat. "I can interpret for you if that would be easier."

Tucker looked surprised. "Could you? That would be so helpful."

Jeff nodded. "Look at him, he'll be looking at me. Talk normally, in first person, like you would any other time." he signed as he spoke. He positioned himself to interpret easier, then glanced down to make sure his clothes weren't loud. Plain black T-shirt and dark jeans, perfect.

Tucker nodded and turned to Nick. "What's your pain level on a scale of one to ten?"

Nick frowned, his face pinching. "About a six. I'm just kind of numb and achy."

Tucker made a quick note on the whiteboard, circling the six. "That's something I can help with. How's your positioning? Can you move yourself or do you need some help?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

"What about personal hygiene? Do you need to shower, brush your teeth, change your clothes, anything?"

"Maybe a change of clothes later, but I can do that."

Tucker nodded. "I'm just going to get vitals now."

As soon as Jeff was done signing, Nick grabbed his hand.

"Right across your forehead," Tucker said, pausing momentarily for Jeff to interpret before moving in.

Jeff fingerspelled "thermometer" quickly and ran a finger across his forehead before Tucker touched him. Nick blinked, the speed of the letters having gone right over his head, and yelped a little when the thermometer swiped over his forehead.

Nick cringed and brought his other arm closer to his body. Jeff glanced over and saw Tucker pulling a blood pressure machine closer. He tapped Nick's hand and cupped his own arm as if it were the cuff, letting him know what was next.

He had time to understand this time before Tucker was ready and held his arm away, letting Tucker wrap the cuff around his bicep. Nick leaned into Jeff's shoulder, holding his ribs, while it tightened.

When that was done, Tucker pulled off the cuff and noted the numbers on the monitor over Jeff's head. "Okay, that wraps it up, not too bad, right? Can I get you anything, Nick?"

Nick shook his head. "I'm fine, thank you."

Tucker nodded and dismissed himself, passing Remi in the doorway. Jeff looked up again. "He's awake,"

A smile lit up Remi's face. "He's awake." he sat down in his usual spot.

"I was going to take a walk, do you need me to interpret?"

Remi blinked, remembering that would be needed now. "Ah. No, I'm sure it's fine."

Jeff nodded and smiled at Nick. "Text me if you need me to come back."

Nick nodded, and Jeff headed to the elevator. He poked around the cafeteria, decided it wasn't worth it, and found a map to track down the gift shop.

He wandered up and down the aisles, taking his time scanning through the shelves. He saw some chocolates Nick would love, but he didn't know if he was allowed to eat, so he decided he'd come back for them if he could. Then he saw a stuffed raccoon and a giggle slipped out in the silent shop. It was perched on its back legs, head tucked down, tail fluffed up and flopping behind it.

He slid the raccoon off the shelf and grabbed a bouquet of bright flowers on the way out, fake, so they wouldn't have to watch them die in case he was here for a while.

The raccoon and flowers under his arm, he slid his card back in his wallet and tried to find his way back to the elevator.

Jeff hesitated at the door to Nick's room, realizing this was the first time he'd left Nick since he'd been awake, and unsure if he should bother knocking or not. This new life was full of firsts.

He decided against knocking and relied on the door opening and closing to alert Remi to his presence.

"Nurse just gave some meds," Remi warned quietly, smiling.

Nick's whole face brightened when he saw him, Jeff couldn't help but return the smile. He set the gifts down at Nick's feet to sign. "Brought you some stuff."

Nick clapped his hands, looking delighted.

He held up the flowers. "First we have some lovely fake flowers, I have no idea what kind," he turned to put them in a cup, but Nick waved - which didn't work because Jeff's back was turned - then tapped the bed rail a few times. That got him to turn around. Nick held out his hands and took the flowers, preening them lightly.

Jeff grinned and held up the raccoon, his mind going to Nick's obsession with stuffed animals. "And this is a neat little friend I found."

Nick took the raccoon, smiling so wide Jeff thought his face was going to split open. "I shall call him Claudius Denmark Trash Panda Sunshine Patches VII. Patch for short." he fingerspelled the entire name lightning-fast, so fast Jeff wasn't sure he caught all of it, but he snorted a laugh at what he did catch.

"Patch, huh?" he used the sign name Nick had given him, a combination of the signs for panda and patch, like on a jacket, placed over the eye.

Nick smiled smugly. "You don't have a Patch. And I do." he stuck his tongue out and squeezed Patch defensively.

Jeff almost cried laughing so hard. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.


	8. Chapter 8

**Yayyy I finally posted! This one took a long time just because I'm literally so busy and never have time, I never see my family anymore I'm not kidding. Anywayyy yeah so here's this love you kids review and leave suggestions and ideas and love and all that jazz because I need validation and they encourage me to write faster**

Remi left after they delivered breakfast to get some sleep at home. As the morning stretched on, one thing that was rapidly making itself known was the severity of Nick's medical anxiety. Even routine things like the vitals checks once an hour made him tense up, though it seemed to be lessening as he settled into the two simple tests. But when a nurse came in and explained that a phlebotomist was on their way to do some blood work, Nick was not happy.

"Jeff, no. Unless they can take it from the IVs, I'm not doing it,"

Jeff frowned. "It's important. You need it, Nick. You know you do."

A knock came at the door. Nick followed Jeff's eyes to the phlebotomist, a woman with red-brown hair and kind eyes. He whined and grabbed Jeff's hand.

"Sorry, boys, don't mean to interrupt. Nick? Hi, I'm Taija, just gonna take a little bit of blood this morning,'

Jeff dropped Nick's hand to his knee and interpreted immediately. Nick protested, grabbing at his sleeve.

Jeff's heart broke. When he'd finished, he took one of Nick's hands and signed with the other. "You're okay, relax. I got you."

Nick resisted looking away from Taija to read his brief signs, hand tightening in Jeff's. "Can you take it from the IVs?"

Taija bit her lip. "No, I'm sorry, it has to come directly from your arm."

He whipped around to Jeff, looking like he was going to fight, but the movement forced a painful breath between his teeth. Whatever fight he had been about to put up melted into panic, clear in his eye and his face, that made Jeff want to take him away and never look back."Jeff, I can't do this. I don't want it, I don't want it, please, I wanna go home. Don't make me,"

Jeff tried to swallow around the lump in his throat, searching for what he could say to make him feel better. ASL was notorious for being absurdly blunt, to the point of offense sometimes, and he was having trouble finding ways to articulate himself that wouldn't scare Nick any worse. "I know. I know, it's scary, and cold, and needles are no fun. But we gotta do this, okay? I'll stay right here, and you can close your eyes really tight and squeeze my hand, and it will be over quick. I promise."

Tears were starting to well up in Nick's eye. "I can't."

Jeff squeezed his hand. "You can."

It was getting hard for Nick to swallow around the anxiety. "Please don't make me. I hate it and it's so gross and just the thought - " he stopped himself, crying harder now. "Jeff, I don't want to do this."

Jeff felt his chest cave in. He was always with him for blood tests and their yearly flu shots, but there was always time for Nick to mentally prepare and decide he was able to cooperate. But this one had been sprung on him, when he already felt horrible and was already in pain and wanted nothing more than to go home and have everything feel normal. Jeff didn't know what to say.

He just squeezed his hand. "I'll stay right here, you're going to be just fine. We're going to let Taija start now, okay?"

"Wait, wait, wait, stop, Jeff. Stop,"

Both Jeff and Taija held their hands up in surrender.

"Can I - " he let out a little whimper. "I don't want to lie down, I feel so vulnerable like that. But I don't wanna see. And I might pass out."

Jeff frowned. "Is it okay if we lie down?"

Nick let out another sob, but didn't fight.

"Lie him down a little, so he can't see and doesn't pass out." he said to Taija.

She nodded and smiled at Nick before lying him down most of the way and patting his hand.

"Go ahead, Taija." Jeff said softly. "Give me enough time to interpret when you warn him, but go as quickly as you can. He just needs this over with,"

Nick had his eyes squeezed shut when Jeff turned back. Jeff tapped his arm lightly, and Nick jumped and pulled his arms in. Jeff wanted to cry.

"I need you to look at me so I can help you know what's going on, keep you from being as nervous, yeah?"

Nick swiped at his eyes. "Make her do it fast."

Jeff nodded. Taija tied the tourniquet, Nick sucked in a breath and tensed his whole body. Taija stroked his arm just below the tourniquet. "Relax this arm, Nick. Almost there, you're doing great."

Nick let out an unsteady breath and made an effort to loosen those muscles. His eyes were glued to his arm as she wiped over it with a rough alcohol swab. Jeff pulled his gaze back to him with two fingers under his chin. "Eyes on me."

Nick just cried, eyes shut tight, clutching Jeff's hand. Jeff would tap his hand or his shoulder or his cheek sometimes and try to get him to keep his eyes open, but Nick felt the needle slide in and thought he was going to be sick. Jeff wasn't going to get him to keep his eyes open, he was going to hold Jeff's hand and ignore everything until it was over.

Taija's hands were gentle when it was out, but Nick couldn't stop crying. He might have been gasping for breath, but he couldn't hear it rasping in and out of his mouth with sobs the way Jeff could, and he was too focused on sensation from his arm to think about steadying it.

Jeff was smoothing his hand over Nick's free arm, trying to bring his focus out of his own head now that it was over. Nick squeezed his eyes shut, let out a horrible, shivering breath, then opened them to Jeff's face.

"All done, honey. All done,"

Taija was touching him again, wrapping the arm so it would stop bleeding, and Nick whimpered and squeezed Jeff's hand.

"All done," he repeated.


	9. Chapter 9

**Yeah yeah I know it's been a minute but I was having a hard time writing this one for some reason. Anyway yeah it's here now, gonna get real angsty, buckle up kids. Review, suggest whatever you feel like, it doesn't take that long and it makes a huge difference to me. Onward!**

Jeff's phone buzzed with a phone call from Remi late that afternoon. He glanced at Nick, who was looking at him expectantly, Patch clutched under his arm. Jeff had been reading to him from an old, worn copy of Wuthering Heights Remi had brought them from home.

He smiled lightly, signing "phone call from your dad" before picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jeff, just calling to check in on you guys,"

Jeff bit his lip, praying Nick couldn't read his lips. "We're good, we're okay, thanks. Um, a couple hours after you left they came to do a blood test, it went okay, he's been really jittery and anxious since then, you know how he gets. And maybe an hour ago he got back from physical therapy to help get him walking again with his knee and hip, he came back with a strong face, but as soon as they were gone he was a mess, just couldn't calm down enough to stop crying, you know. I've been reading to him so he'll sleep, but it's not working as well as I'd like."

"Yeah, that's hard. But I know you know him, I know you're doing a good job. Do you want me to come down tonight, hang out for a bit? Maybe stay the night so you can get some rest?"

He chewed his lip again. "Ah, probably not. I think he's going to fall asleep here soon and I'm hoping he'll sleep through the night. As for going home, I'd really rather not leave him in case he needs me in the middle of the night."

"You're sure? Okay. Thanks, Jeff, keep me updated. Love you guys, talk to you later,"

He slipped the phone back into his pocket, rubbed Nick's arm, and reached for the book to keep reading, but Nick grabbed his hand, looking worried. "What happened?"

Jeff almost didn't catch the sign, Nick's hands were still shaking and he'd signed lightening-fast.

He smiled lightly. "Just Remi asking how we were."

Nick frowned hard, fingers twisting into Jeff's shirt. "What'd you tell him?"

"Well, I told him about the blood test and how you've been a little anxious since then, and about how much you hate physical therapy." A little smile hinted at his lips. "He says he loves you and he'll see if he can come around tomorrow morning."

Nick looked like he was trying to smile, but he just looked sick. He nodded and leaned back, reaching for Jeff's throat, fingers pressed to his Adam's apple to feel the vibration of his voice as he spoke. Jeff took that as his signal to keep reading.

Opening the book again, he resumed his earlier position, leaned over in his chair so Nick could reach, Nick's other hand held the elbow Jeff had resting on the mattress.

Jeff ran his fingers through Nick's hair, avoiding the stitches and spots he knew there was blood, and started reading.

After a few minutes, Nick's eye was heavy-lidded and cloudy with exhaustion, the shakiness he felt down to his very bones stilled by Jeff's presence, his soft voice, the solidness of him under his hands.

Jeff paused to turn a page, clearing his throat quietly, and continued reading.

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."

He paused again, taking a moment to gaze down at the man in the bed beside him. He looked like he was almost asleep, his hair mussed, pale arm stretched against Jeff's throat, and Jeff felt his eyes well up in admiration. Everything he'd experienced, every option he had in life, and Nick had chosen him.

He wiped the moisture away, laughing softly at himself, and continued reading until the night nurse came in at seven.

She introduced herself as Laurel, took a moment to read over the whiteboard and erase Tucker's name and write her own. She had Jeff wake Nick up and help him calm down - he always startled awake and didn't seem to know where he was, Jeff had learned quickly.

Nick seemed a little more comfortable with a female nurse once he was awake, and allowed her to take vitals without much fuss, then agreed to another dose of medication to last him through the night.

When she had finished, she turned to Jeff. "Where will you be staying the night?"

Jeff blinked. "Here, with him."

Laurel frowned, seeming surprised. "I think it would be a good idea to go home for the night, don't you? We encourage loved ones to spend the night in their own bed whenever possible."

He bristled at first, but Nick reached for his hand. "She's right. Go home, you need to sleep, too. I'll be fine."

He couldn't argue with that. It was true, he was exhausted. He could feel the oppressive weight of fatigue on his shoulders, he couldn't imagine what it was like for Nick.

So he kissed Nick goodbye, long and hard, arms tight around the fragile parts of him, and forced himself to turn and walk out. In the halls, he ached already.

Driving home, he kept his mind carefully blank. He let himself into Nick's silent apartment, and barely managed to get his shoes off before collapsing into Nick's bed, falling into a deep sleep surrounded by the comforting scent of his safe, healthy boyfriend, not this one who never quite seemed to stop trembling and smelled unmistakably of hospital and fear.

It took almost a full minute for him to rouse a few hours later, woken by a steady stream of video calls from Nick. Still not entirely aware of himself, he picked up the phone.

Nick's jaw was locked open, his face discolored and blotchy. There were urgent voices in the background, and what seemed like spotlights on Nick in his dark hospital room.

"Jeff," he signed with a shaky hand. A sob rattled up his throat. "I need you."


	10. Chapter 10

Jeff didn't think about visiting hours or gas or the fact that he was half asleep and probably shouldn't drive. All he knew was Nick needed him and he would do anything it took to get to him.

He was in his car, barefoot, keys in hand, before he realized what he was doing. His bleary brain registered stoplights, the freeway, and the hospital doors, and then Nick's room.

What really brought him back to awareness was Nick. He was mostly lying down, leaned halfway up on his elbows like he was trying to get up. One of the nurses had his hands under Nick's chin, holding his mouth loosely closed from behind. None of the others seemed to pay him much mind as he stepped closer.

Jeff stepped into the light and Nick caught sight of him, pushing to sit up. A nurse grabbed his shoulder to keep him still, seeming to reprimand him quietly, and Jeff bristled. He took two long steps to Nick, reaching for his hand.

Nick dropped down to his back from his elbows to hold Jeff's hand, trying to speak, humming loudly from the back of his throat. Jeff stroked his hair.

"Shh, honey, shh. I'm here, it's okay."

"No, no, no, no, not okay, I'm not I'm not I'm not—" he was signing frantically, but the nurse pulled his wrist against the bed. "Lie still," he said absently.

Jeff looked up in anger. "Don't do that," he snapped. "He's trying to talk to me."

"Which is interfering with my job, and I need him to stay still," he dropped a hand firmly to Nick's shoulder as if to prove a point.

A doctor swept in, coming close to Nick. "What have we got?"

The nurse looked up to report. "Dislocated jaw, we're not sure how it happened. Been out of socket for thirty minutes, maybe forty five. Patient is deaf."

The doctor felt down Nick's jaw, turning his head to reach. Nick twisted away from his grip, eyes screwed shut and the one functional side of his jaw stretching wider in pain. The nurse swore and grabbed for his chin, but everyone in the room could hear the crack as the other joint was wrenched from its socket. Nick clamped down harder on Jeff's hand.

The doctor swore this time and looked to Jeff. "You're the interpreter?"

Jeff held Nick's hand tighter. "Boyfriend."

The doctor shot him a look; Jeff gritted his teeth. "Yes, I'm the interpreter."

"I'm Dr. Floyd. Tell him to hold still or this is going to get much worse."

Jeff felt a lump beginning to rise in his throat as he tapped the back of Nick's hand and interpreted what he had said. Something in Nick's neck twitched like he was trying to speak or maybe swallow, and he started to cry, fat drops staining the starched hospital pillowcase.

Dr. Floyd pursed his lips. "We need to move him to a treatment room to reduce the dislocation and treat any issues resulting from it. Normally we don't allow anyone other than the patient, but because you're an interpreter, you'll be allowed."

Jeff thought it best to probably not tell him that interpreting for someone and being an interpreter are two very different things. He turned back to Nick, and the nurses already had him packed up to move.

He stepped out of their way and followed them out and down the hall, catching up to grab Nick's hand and soothe him. Nick was biting hard on his lower lip to keep from crying, and his eyes were huge and full of tears.

The room wasn't far, which Jeff was grateful for. Almost immediately after they'd locked Nick's wheels, one of the nurses shot something into his IV, and his crying subsided to violent shivering, his eyes clouding over. Nick stroked his arm, trying to soothe him.

Slowly, the shivering subsided and all that was left was his shallow breathing and half-lidded eyes as the nurses worked over him, his bare shoulders prickled with goosebumps.

Dr. Floyd came up, his thumbs wrapped in gauze, and tucked them in Nick's mouth. Jeff squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to listen to the horrible popping as Dr. Floyd forced Nick's jaw back into its sockets. Nick let out a shuddering breath and sagged back against the flat mattress.

One of the nice nurses murmured something soft and sweet as Dr. Floyd prepared two syringes. Jeff didn't even want to think about what they were for, but as Dr. Floyd turned to come back over, Nick's heavy eyes started to open.

NIck signed something Jeff didn't recognize at first, but he quickly understood.

"Am I at the dentist?"

He kept repeating it until Jeff took his hand. "No, baby, no. You're okay." Jeff looked up to see Dr. Floyd watching and bit his lip. "Go back to sleep, you're okay."

Nick's eyes drifted back to their half-closed position. Jeff allowed one of the nurses to take Nick's hand and brace it against the mattress, not wanting to have that responsibility but at the same time feeling horribly guilty he couldn't handle it. The nurse gave him a sympathetic look. "It's okay, it's hard."

Again, Jeff watched from the corners of his eyes as Dr. Floyd turned a barely aware Nick's head and swabbed the soft skin in front of his ear with a rough alcohol pad. Nick whimpered and started to tremble again, but was still too disoriented to fight.

The nurse holding Nick's hand leaned back to take Jeff's as well, squeezing both reassuringly. Jeff swallowed hard.

He did look away as Dr. Floyd gave the injection, sinking impossibly deep into the joint of Nick's jaw. Nick's eyes blew wide and his free hand stiffened and clawed at the sheets. A nurse was holding his mouth closed, but a strangled cry still escaped through his teeth, twisting Jeff's heart in his chest again.

The nurse holding Jeff's hand let go and took a pad of gauze from the tray beside Dr. Floyd to wipe away the drop of blood welling up, then smoothed a small, round bandaid over top.

Jeff dug his teeth into his lower lip. He wished he could take Nick's place, himself on the bed with needles in the side of his face and IVs in every available vein. Nick was tough, sure, but he'd been through enough. He didn't deserve this.

Nick hyperventilated as Dr. Floyd turned his head to the other side. The nurse took Jeff's hand again. Jeff closed his eyes and tried to refrain from crying when Nick made that awful pained cry again, taking steady breaths through his nose and swallowing back the bile that rose.

Finally, the nurse squeezed Jeff's hand and let go. "All done,"

Jeff cracked his eyes open to see Nick dragging breaths in and out, and the kind nurse patting his shoulder. Jeff grabbed his hand. Everyone but Jeff and the nurse left, and the nurse wheeled Nick back to his room, Jeff in tow.

When they were back in Nick's room, the nurse did her routine check and made sure Nick was okay, then dismissed herself.

It wasn't until she was gone that Jeff finally let himself cry.

**Notes:**

**Hello my friends! It has been a long time, I know, it was mean of me to leave you on a cliffhanger like that, I'm sorry. We'll just say shit hit the fan, but it's here now, so hopefully that's good enough. **

**Poor baby Nick, I feel so bad for him. But at the same time I love torturing him. It's evil, I have issues, I know. **

**I'm currently working on a couple of Klaine oneshots so if all goes according to plan those will be up eventually, but as a disclaimer we all know how slowly I write, this chapter being a poster child. BUT I really wanna have more works for you guys, so I'll keep working on them. Don't forget to review, it doesn't take very long and it makes a world of difference!**


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